Where has my Spirit gone?

It is queer to say that I have watched a recent Nozuka video and have felt a piece of his soul missing. Yes this is a queer thing to say. As if I know the man, and the day, and time, and mindset he was in.
It is queer.

But where did his Soul go? Where is that thing that I deemed his soul? Where has it gone from that performance?
The man could have been tired or God knows what! Yet I think I know him...

I think I know myself. But where has my Spirit gone? My vitality. My youth and happiness. My breath. Where is it all? Why is it so easily drowned?

Death has been a topic of terror for me recently. Perhaps it's because of my dad. Speaking of which, I learned what an "Iron Lung" actually is.

I don't want to talk about Death or Nozuka...I barely want to talk about my Spirit.

Things I don't want to say but here is a note for me... make time for the things that matter. Things that matter to me and for me. These things will help my spirit grow and help me keep my head in the clouds but feet on the ground.

I need time for spirituality and time for rest. I'm doing too much.

A fear
My biggest fear
I'll get everything I want and still be unhappy.