"Just because today is a terrible day doesn't mean tomorrow won't be the best day of your life...You just have to get there."- Unknown
That should have been my quote for yesterday. I think it was blood loss, my family think it was exhaustion. I don't think I've done much to be exhausted. Since spring break started I had been wanting to go some place fun and do something fun. Instead I just started going to the gym, jogging 15 mins, doing arms, legs, abs workouts. I bought roller blades and skated for about an hour. Boy was that hard!I haven't skated since I was in elementary and everything seemed easier back then. The next day I went back to the gym. I was feeling good. Yesterday I donated blood successfully, took my mom to the store and got called into work.
Here's the fun part. I was there for about an hour. I didn't eat much after donating and while I was trying to ring a customer up I started to feel faint. I had dehydrated once before and I remember the feeling so that if ever I feel it again I can sit down and not fall and smashed my head on the floor. I sat on the ground and apologized to the customer. I stood up, told her I had donated blood about an hour before and that I was feeling weak. I called over to my nearest coworker and told her I felt sick. I sat down again and then I felt people tugging on me and calling my name asking me to stand up. I had thought that I fell asleep at the register, I knew I was a bit tired, it was a rainy day, but I didn't know that I was that tired. I realized that I must have passed out and people kept asking me if I could walk. I told them I couldn't stand or walk but somehow I got to the chair. My stomach cramped really bad and I just wanted to lay down and puke. I must have kept loosing consciousness because things just seemed to happen. Someone was holding me up and I tried to look around and gather myself. Then I felt wetness on my leg and through a blurry white vision I say that I must have pissed myself. How embarrassing. I kept thinking about how embarrassing the entire situation was. Someone gave me water then I was told not to eat or drink. Finally the ambulance guys arrived and I slipped into unconsciousness again. They started talking to me and I couldn't answer correctly. My manager asked if he had hurt me because I bit him. Even more embarrassing. I apologized. Eventually I got into the stretcher and into the ambulance. Completely embarrassed and mortified. They gave me fluids and talked a lot. I still felt stupid and teary eyed. They also drove me home, how sweet!
SO now I'm scared to go to work, not that I'm afraid to pass out, I just feel stupid, weak, and of course, embarrassed. I was talking to my mom before I went to work and I told her to take better care of herself and then I go and pass out at work. When people tell me that I'm exhausted and need to rest, it just makes me feel even weaker. All I've been doing is going to school, work on weekends, singing lessons on thursdays, database reports on fridays, and not much else. There are people who do far more than I do and they manage. After that episode I re-added my ex on FB because I was tired of him being in my dreams and making me wake up angry. Maybe I'll be able to let go of the anger and disappointment finally. Today I feel unattractive and sucky. I wish I could finally clean my room, grow my hair longer, and be all those things I started this blog about. But I guess I'll just rest a bit and go to work later on.
"When you're sad you must smile; When you're happy you must laugh; When you're weak you must stay strong!"- Unknown
That should have been my quote for yesterday. I think it was blood loss, my family think it was exhaustion. I don't think I've done much to be exhausted. Since spring break started I had been wanting to go some place fun and do something fun. Instead I just started going to the gym, jogging 15 mins, doing arms, legs, abs workouts. I bought roller blades and skated for about an hour. Boy was that hard!I haven't skated since I was in elementary and everything seemed easier back then. The next day I went back to the gym. I was feeling good. Yesterday I donated blood successfully, took my mom to the store and got called into work.
Here's the fun part. I was there for about an hour. I didn't eat much after donating and while I was trying to ring a customer up I started to feel faint. I had dehydrated once before and I remember the feeling so that if ever I feel it again I can sit down and not fall and smashed my head on the floor. I sat on the ground and apologized to the customer. I stood up, told her I had donated blood about an hour before and that I was feeling weak. I called over to my nearest coworker and told her I felt sick. I sat down again and then I felt people tugging on me and calling my name asking me to stand up. I had thought that I fell asleep at the register, I knew I was a bit tired, it was a rainy day, but I didn't know that I was that tired. I realized that I must have passed out and people kept asking me if I could walk. I told them I couldn't stand or walk but somehow I got to the chair. My stomach cramped really bad and I just wanted to lay down and puke. I must have kept loosing consciousness because things just seemed to happen. Someone was holding me up and I tried to look around and gather myself. Then I felt wetness on my leg and through a blurry white vision I say that I must have pissed myself. How embarrassing. I kept thinking about how embarrassing the entire situation was. Someone gave me water then I was told not to eat or drink. Finally the ambulance guys arrived and I slipped into unconsciousness again. They started talking to me and I couldn't answer correctly. My manager asked if he had hurt me because I bit him. Even more embarrassing. I apologized. Eventually I got into the stretcher and into the ambulance. Completely embarrassed and mortified. They gave me fluids and talked a lot. I still felt stupid and teary eyed. They also drove me home, how sweet!
SO now I'm scared to go to work, not that I'm afraid to pass out, I just feel stupid, weak, and of course, embarrassed. I was talking to my mom before I went to work and I told her to take better care of herself and then I go and pass out at work. When people tell me that I'm exhausted and need to rest, it just makes me feel even weaker. All I've been doing is going to school, work on weekends, singing lessons on thursdays, database reports on fridays, and not much else. There are people who do far more than I do and they manage. After that episode I re-added my ex on FB because I was tired of him being in my dreams and making me wake up angry. Maybe I'll be able to let go of the anger and disappointment finally. Today I feel unattractive and sucky. I wish I could finally clean my room, grow my hair longer, and be all those things I started this blog about. But I guess I'll just rest a bit and go to work later on.
"When you're sad you must smile; When you're happy you must laugh; When you're weak you must stay strong!"- Unknown
