It's almost 4 and I haven't eaten anything all day! Had a lot of errands to run. I have gone and bought my self a CHI because it's day 3 since my Bro did my hair and it is still beautiful and manageable.
Tonight I'm going to do a hot oil treatment. I should probably make oil and condition treatments weekly things but I don't truly have the time. I had my hair natural for last week but this week was flat. I've notice some breakage in the same spots which is rather annoying because I'm beginning to think that none of these things are working for my hair if I am still stuck at the same length with breakage at the same spots. Ugh oh well I'll keep trying to keep healthy happy hair. I want to go to the gym sometime after I eat, although I just got a work out running up and down my stairs for 20mins bringing groceries in. I may just take this day to eat, pamper myself, and clean. Boy oh boy the cleaning that needs to be done.
A tad off of today's topic, I've been trying to become a more loving, compassionate, patient person. At times I can see my progress and at others not so much. For instance, a time in which I showed great progress is an incident that happened with a so called friend. They have a tendency to fall head over hills for people and think that if they truly want, they can run off and live happy ever after. Well I told this person the reality of what they are looking for. I said things like while its wonderful to want to go off in the world with someone, you have to make sure they want what you want and be sure you plan for the worst if you move too fast because you don't want to move off with her and then you break up and you're stuck out in an area where things will only remind you of her. Well he got all pissy and bitchy and bitched me out for telling him to tread with caution. He said "you really think you got this love thing down don't you? well you don't! you had sex to abuse yourself. ur in need of a relationship. u cant handle being alone with yourself." Well that was grounds enough for me to knock this mother fucker out! However, I acknowledge that I was angry and that the things he said were to try and hurt me as much as he was hurting although I didn't and still don't understand why he got so upset. Also the things weren't true. Yes I had sex in a way to cope with things that I didn't want to cope with but I had come to terms with that and decided to respect myself. See I could have bashed him about his self mutilating behaviors, I could have rubbed in his face how he is the one hitting me up every day to know when we can hang out or if he can stay over, and there are so many other things I could have taken that he told me and turned it around to be ugly. But I didn't. I told him to shut up and grow up. He soon then apologized. I saw my progress in that situation because I didn't revert to my ghetto gangsta ways and attack him. I took a higher route. I was angry with myself for not yelling because I felt that I should have let my anger out because I kept mulling over how angry I was at his insults.
The situation and guy still make me angry. He's the kind of person who uses others for personal gain and attributes all depression to them. I don't like that kind of attitude and I'm not so sure I like the person anymore. While a part of me wants to knock him out for something else hurtful he has done recently, I am just going to let him go. Now in places where I don't see progress, my relationship with my mother. She still really annoys me and I'm not sure how to handle that yet. Ok I'm really hungry so I need to find some snacks while the food is cooking. I'll be updating my other blog with a story song mash up I created using No Heaven by Justin Nozuka. I still don't think I should turn it into class. Bleh, I'll think about it later.
"Take responsibility for your actions."
Tonight I'm going to do a hot oil treatment. I should probably make oil and condition treatments weekly things but I don't truly have the time. I had my hair natural for last week but this week was flat. I've notice some breakage in the same spots which is rather annoying because I'm beginning to think that none of these things are working for my hair if I am still stuck at the same length with breakage at the same spots. Ugh oh well I'll keep trying to keep healthy happy hair. I want to go to the gym sometime after I eat, although I just got a work out running up and down my stairs for 20mins bringing groceries in. I may just take this day to eat, pamper myself, and clean. Boy oh boy the cleaning that needs to be done.
A tad off of today's topic, I've been trying to become a more loving, compassionate, patient person. At times I can see my progress and at others not so much. For instance, a time in which I showed great progress is an incident that happened with a so called friend. They have a tendency to fall head over hills for people and think that if they truly want, they can run off and live happy ever after. Well I told this person the reality of what they are looking for. I said things like while its wonderful to want to go off in the world with someone, you have to make sure they want what you want and be sure you plan for the worst if you move too fast because you don't want to move off with her and then you break up and you're stuck out in an area where things will only remind you of her. Well he got all pissy and bitchy and bitched me out for telling him to tread with caution. He said "you really think you got this love thing down don't you? well you don't! you had sex to abuse yourself. ur in need of a relationship. u cant handle being alone with yourself." Well that was grounds enough for me to knock this mother fucker out! However, I acknowledge that I was angry and that the things he said were to try and hurt me as much as he was hurting although I didn't and still don't understand why he got so upset. Also the things weren't true. Yes I had sex in a way to cope with things that I didn't want to cope with but I had come to terms with that and decided to respect myself. See I could have bashed him about his self mutilating behaviors, I could have rubbed in his face how he is the one hitting me up every day to know when we can hang out or if he can stay over, and there are so many other things I could have taken that he told me and turned it around to be ugly. But I didn't. I told him to shut up and grow up. He soon then apologized. I saw my progress in that situation because I didn't revert to my ghetto gangsta ways and attack him. I took a higher route. I was angry with myself for not yelling because I felt that I should have let my anger out because I kept mulling over how angry I was at his insults.
The situation and guy still make me angry. He's the kind of person who uses others for personal gain and attributes all depression to them. I don't like that kind of attitude and I'm not so sure I like the person anymore. While a part of me wants to knock him out for something else hurtful he has done recently, I am just going to let him go. Now in places where I don't see progress, my relationship with my mother. She still really annoys me and I'm not sure how to handle that yet. Ok I'm really hungry so I need to find some snacks while the food is cooking. I'll be updating my other blog with a story song mash up I created using No Heaven by Justin Nozuka. I still don't think I should turn it into class. Bleh, I'll think about it later.
"Take responsibility for your actions."
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